Illustration by Trịnh Lập

Thanh Nga

The 2024 European Championship has sparked a wave of controversy within Vietnamese households, as many wives have resorted to extreme measures to prevent their husbands from secretly betting on football matches, which is considered illegal in the country.

While the wives' concerns about the potential financial and social consequences of gambling addiction are understandable, their controlling actions have also led to conflicts in the couples' relationships.

Xuân Định, a resident of HCM City, is one such husband caught in the crosshairs of his wife's close watch. Excited to enjoy the Euro 2024 tournament with his friends and colleagues, Định found his plans quickly squelched by his wife's newfound mistrust.

After hearing a story about a friend's husband racking up a significant betting debt, Định's wife became convinced that he too was hiding money to wager on the games. She demanded access to his bank accounts, closely monitoring his every transaction and message.

"Although I tried to explain that I am not interested in betting and only watching football for entertainment, my wife didn't believe me," Định recounts.

Định's experience is not an isolated case. Tuấn Hùng, a seafood merchant in Hải Phòng, had a recent customer payment of VNĐ500,000 immediately confiscated by his wife, who feared he was stashing the money for football bets.

Similarly, a 30-year-old man also in Hải Phòng has had his finances and daily activities strictly regulated by his spouse, who checks his bank statements and even tells his friends not to lend him any money.

"I had to do that because during the World Cup, he came home and said he owed nearly VNĐ100 million just because of betting," Hùng's wife explains, underscoring the valid concerns underlying her actions.

The wives' efforts to maintain control, however, have come at a cost. Bùi Giang, a resident of Thái Bình, is not only monitored in his spending but is also required to host his friends for football viewing sessions, with his wife in attendance despite her lack of interest in the sport.

Giang's wife has even gone so far as to learn herself a number of betting terms, checking her husband's messages for any signs of illicit activity.

While gambling is strictly prohibited in Việt Nam, the temptation remains strong, as evidenced by the Ministry of Public Security's busting of 52 football betting cases during the 2022 World Cup, with transaction amounts reaching tens of thousands of billions of đồng.

The recent crackdown on a large-scale online betting operation for the Euro 2024 season in Buôn Ma Thuật City, with over VNĐ20 billion in transactions, further highlights the seriousness of the problem.

Associate Professor Đỗ Minh Cương, a former lecturer at the University of Economics, acknowledges the wives' understandable desire to protect their families from the financial burden of gambling addiction.

"The wives' mentality of controlling their husbands in every football tournament is understandable, to avoid the family having to bear the loss on betting, on dreaming to get rich through gambling," he says.

However, Cương also warns that the wives' extreme measures can have unintended consequences, leading to conflicts and even the breakdown of the couple's relationship.

"Wives' somewhat overly strict supervision will make husbands feel self-conscious and embarrassed with their friends. Friends refuse to come over to watch football because they don't like their wives keeping them under 'house arrest'," Cương says.

To strike a balance, Cương advises open communication and mutual understanding between the spouses.

"The husband should share his passion for football and build trust with his wife. The wife also needs to share her own worries and advise her husband to pursue his passion in moderation, avoiding extreme behaviour that affects his wife and children," he says.

From my perspective, both husbands and wives need to approach this issue with empathy and a willingness to compromise. The wives' concerns about gambling addiction and financial ruin are valid, but the husbands' need for leisure and social connections is also understandable.

Perhaps a solution could involve the couples setting mutually agreeable boundaries and spending limits, while also finding ways for the husbands to enjoy football responsibly, such as hosting game-watching parties at home with friends or setting aside a reasonable budget for occasional outings.

By fostering open and honest dialogues, the couples could work together to address the underlying concerns and find a middle ground that respects the needs of both parties. VNS