Illustration by Trịnh Lập

by Nguyễn Mỹ Hà

The wedding season has started, and over the past few days a wedding in Can Lộc District, Hà Tĩnh Province, of a mixed couple caught the attention of millions of viewers online.

In the clip posted by the bride, TikToker Seung Thảo, you can see a Korean mother in her 50s wearing a Vietnamese áo dài dancing with her two children and her in-laws.

The Korean mother-in-law reportedly said that in South Korea weddings today last for about two hours, but here in her in-laws' village, her son’s wedding lasted for two days and two nights. Everyone was overjoyed, friendly and excited.

Mixed marriages have become very common in today’s globalised world. Once in a while, you read about Vietnamese women trapped in marriage with Chinese or Korean men, living in a remote place where there is nothing relevant to their Vietnamese identity such as food, community or culture.

Sometimes they are badly treated by their husbands or in-laws. Every year, women kidnapped into marriages in China escape their miseries to tread jungles and long roads to find a way back home in Việt Nam.

When bad news happens, you would hear about it more often. But this wedding received the many blessings of everyone who got to see it. The couple met at work in Việt Nam and chose to wear the Vietnamese áo dài to be closer to her Vietnamese in-laws.

Thảo, the bride, posted on her social media and said she was glad her mother-in-law wasn’t trying to hold back her feelings and got along well with her parents.

Ancient prejudices about conflicts between mother and daughter-in-law are less prevalent in modern weddings, where mothers can be younger, independent and ready to help out when they can.

Thảo said her mother-in-law always wanted to visit Việt Nam because she knew the beautiful scenery and friendly people. She is also fond of some classic Vietnamese foods, such as roasted pork and pickled mustard greens.

Today, Korean food culture has also taken root in Việt Nam, where you can find kimchi in a neighbourhood wet market. They are just as popular as the pickled mustard greens, cabbages, or aubergine that are so loved by the Vietnamese.

For the wedding, she tried several áo dài, which she thought were very graceful.

“People think the mother-in-law will always care for her son, and want her daughter-in-law to do so," Thảo said. "But my mother-in-law is different. She wants her son to share difficulties with me and usually sides with me if we had a fight, which made me feel very lucky."

Thảo said that her father-in-law couldn't come to their wedding in Hà Tĩnh due to health issues, but he already said he'd make up for it at their wedding in South Korea in 2024.

A Vietnamese saying goes, "Có con mà gả chồng gần, có bát canh cần nó cũng mang cho," literally translated as "When you have a daughter, marry her to someone living nearby as when she cooks a vegetable soup, she would bring you a bowl!"

Thirty or twenty years ago, during the opening up of the country, mixed marriages were usually between international men who came to Việt Nam as businessmen or travellers, and the women followed them abroad. Today, more young Vietnamese women get to travel the world, meet their men, and then bring them home to get married.

Well, Thảo's parents may not just want a bowl of soup from her every day, but be happy to see their child happy and making a home in a distant land. But the couple can always visit or even move to work in Việt Nam for a few years as more South Korean companies have established factories here close to their home.

Thảo said after she finishes her studies in South Korea, the couple would like to start their careers in Việt Nam, where her mother-in-law can always visit and have a good time whenever she likes. VNS