By Ray Riches *

Some do it for love, others by chance, but for me, choosing Hồ Chí Minh City was the most purposeful and lifelong dream anyone could imagine. I am from Australia, and most of my fifty-something years on this earth I carried a dream to find a real home. This is the story of how I found my real home.

In June 1965, a young Australian man landed at Tân Sơn Nhất Airport to begin a year of active service as Australia entered the conflict in Việt Nam. This young man was my father, and throughout the '70s and '80s, I experienced a life that was totally wrapped around HCM City, although it was strangely never spoken about.

First time I crossed the street in 2012 at the bus station outside Bến Thành Market. Photos courtesy of Ray Riches

The result of the whispers, slurs and throwaway comments was that a young boy found a complex relationship with this city, still referred to as Sài Gòn, at a very young age. Over four decades, this passion and desire to turn this complex relationship into something better burned away in the deepest parts of my thoughts and dreams.

In 2012, fortune fell my way after many years of drama, and I found myself on a plane to HCM City. My memories of lying in bed late at night with a shortwave radio, flicking and turning the dial in an attempt to hear the voice of Sài Gòn, came flooding back as I sat on the plane. The realisation was that this moment was a dream I had had for most of my life, and it was coming true. I was about to hear the voice of Sài Gòn in person.

Fear and excitement filled my mind and heart as the plane began its descent into Tân Sơn Nhất. I could not believe I was actually looking out the window at the city I dreamed about late at night for some forty years. But I was also in fear. What if it is not the place I dreamed of? And what if I don’t like it? My heart was on the line and I was about to discover the truth about HCM City and my past.

Meeting local tourists at the Củ Chi Tunnels.

The memory that I will forever take with me of HCM City was my very first experience. As I exited Tân Sơn Nhất, the bustle of people and the heat took me by surprise. For a moment, I stood in shock and awe. I had reached the front door of the memories and dreams that held me and crushed me for all these years.

Then I turned my eyes up to see an amazing woman in a sky-blue áo dài and a nón lá walk from the left to the right of me in front of the crowd. As she walked within a few metres of me, her head gently lifted and her eyes appeared from under the hat. While graciously strolling along the path, her eyes met mine, and her face ever so gently lifted as she smiled at me as if to say, “Welcome". I stood frozen in time as I watched this woman, who looked like an angel, take a moment to acknowledge me.

But this was not to be the only highlight of my time in HCM City. The traffic brought my next sense of awe and amazement. As our taxi left the airport, my son whispered quietly, “OMG”. I turned to look down the main road at a plethora of motorbikes all jostling for a position on the road. There was no order and no system. as these motorbikes ran along footpaths and down the street the wrong way. No words can ever describe your first sight of HCM City traffic.

Traffic in the streets of HCMC in 2012.

Mention HCM City to any Vietnamese person in the world, and the first thing they will say is food. My first experience with local cuisine was, of course, phở. While many other dishes are famous in HCM City, phở, or the southern variety of phở, is a very popular dish that is eaten at any time of the day by locals.

It was mid-afternoon, and I stepped off a tour bus from the Củ Chi Tunnels. My local friend suggested we try some real local food. As I was totally lost, I just trusted her and we followed her down a lane just wide enough for two motorbikes. We took a left, then a right, and we found ourselves in the middle of a crowded lane with small stools and tables lining the old concrete roadway. In a house, an elderly lady was working over a big pot. There was movement everywhere as the sights and sounds began to overwhelm me. At this point, my mind turned to my dreams of what the city would be like, and I smiled with the realisation that it was so much better than I could have expected.

Then, with water at my feet from the recent rainstorm, and a thin plastic awning overhead, I sat at a small blue plastic table and watched a hot bowl of chicken phở gently come to a stop in front of me. I couldn’t touch it. For a moment, I just breathed in and thought to myself: “I am in HCM City…”

After my mind returned to reality, I was faced with one challenge. How the hell do you eat this food? Luckily, with a local friend to guide me, the preparation was not too difficult, and I was soon warming my rain-affected body with warm chicken phở. They say that phở can cure any ailment, and on that day, I think it cured the heart of a lost boy. I felt like I was at home, finally.

Meeting blind children at a school in 2015.

On top of the experiences that HCM City delivered, learning was a big part of my adventure. And my learning experience began at the War Remnants Museum in District 3. “Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room?” That statement ran through my mind as I stood for hours and looked and read about the stories of a war that should never have been. I learned so much about the other side of the war. For too long, I was dictated to by an unfair and biased view. Now I had the opportunity to see all the facts from the people who had no choice about being involved.

Alone, in a crowded room, I stood there in shock, then sadness, then anger, as the history unfolded before my eyes. I cried, and I felt cold from the emotions that ran through my body. Some of the tears were very private as I recall standing in the corner feeling ashamed that my people were involved in such horrors. This moment changed my life forever.

Every hour of every day of my first time in HCM City was a new experience and a new learning. From the Independence Palace to Đức Bà Church, the Sài Gòn River, and monuments honouring heroes of the past, the constant influx of history and culture took me to a place in my life that I had never felt before.

After nine days, I sat at Tân Sơn Nhất Airport with one promise in my heart. I promised that this experience would not be the end of my love and appreciation for HCM City. Then, one year and ten days later, I touched down with two suitcases and a dream to give myself to Việt Nam and live my dream.

At first, there was no plan, and my expectation was that this adventure would not last more than about six months. But here I am, ten years later, still living in HCM City. I am now married, and I have achieved so many great things that went far beyond my dreams.

This is a city of the people. Many buildings line the streets, traffic fills every open space, and the air is sometimes a little dirty, but the one thing that HCM City has that is unique is some of the most amazing, generous and friendly people. These people taught me to forgive and how to stop looking back and look forward. They showed me what love really means and when I needed it the most, they offered me a smile and the hand of their friendship.

The struggles of war and my past brought me to Việt Nam, and now I see myself as one of the luckiest people in the world because I found HCM City. Whether it is a smile from a beautiful girl, a high-five from a child, or a 1-2-3 DZO from a stranger at a restaurant, this place is full of love, friendship and peace.

Meeting children at a local orphanage in 2013.

I am not sure how I can say thank you to HCM City for what you have given me. I still don’t think I deserve it, and I still believe I need to give more. Your heart, your kindness, your softness—it is the human factors that go straight to my heart. Oh, and the smiles. When you catch the eye of someone and their face lights up as they smile with you, that is where the heart of Việt Nam can be seen. Thank you, HCM City, for what you have given to me, what you have become, and for letting me into your heart. VNS

* Ray lives in HCM City and works as a teacher and freelancer. Apart from teaching, he is a keen runner and bicycle adventure rider. He has visited many parts of the country by bicycle and loves the smaller parts of this beautiful country. After ten years in Việt Nam, Ray has a love and passion for the smaller things and enjoys sharing his experiences with people all over the world.