Apocalypse, now? No, it’s just summer

May 23, 2024 - 13:52
Make a playlist, that perfect summer soundtrack to soothe your UV-scorched soul as you navigate the city's challenges.
One and a half litres of water disappears quickly while you beat the heat. — VNA/VNS Photo

By Alex Reeves - @afreeves23

You may have noticed but if not, I can confirm, it's here. There doesn't seem to be anybody left in Việt Nam other than the crackiest of crackpots who would argue that global warming doesn't exist.

Tis’ the season to wear a coat during 35 degrees. A stifling combination of extreme heat and the need to layer up due to the even more extreme volumes of rain that may emerge from the sky without so much as a warning droplet. A combination that complements each other about as well as a mosquito-filled squat toilet and the dawning realisation that you forgot to check for toilet paper.

But don't despair; here at Việt Nam News, we're armed with tips to help you navigate through this year's prolonged 'sweatfest'. It's about being smart with your planning. Remember those AC sanctuaries along your daily routes and map them out, don't forget to pin every Bia Hơi that stores their glasses in the freezer - you'll thank us later.

Consider this; is it worth going back upstairs to grab that forgotten poncho? Absolutely. Take it from someone whose bag wasn't as waterproof as hoped, and the passport inside paid the price. When the urban jungle becomes a literal steam bath, it might be time for a quick getaway. If your passport suffered a similar fate then Ninh Bình is perfect for a domestic dip, while Tam Đảo offers a cool mountain breeze that can reset your thermal gauge.

Make a playlist, that perfect summer soundtrack to soothe your UV-scorched soul as you navigate the city's challenges and now that I mention it, double-check your sunscreen for actual UV protection. I've learned the hard way that not all sunscreens are created equal.

Navigating Hà Nội's streets in the summer requires a touch of strategy. Avoid lingering behind bus exhausts, and steer clear of those infamous traffic lights that tease with 99 seconds of red. Wear your backpack in front to avoid the dreaded back sweat, and maybe stash an extra shirt under your bike seat just in case.

Those pools you've scoped out on Google Maps? Manage your expectations. More often than not, they're either a tepid, chlorinated stew ready to snap your hair follicles, or worse, adorned with a mysterious surface film awaiting your disruption. The active medical ingredient in ear drops is not legal in Việt Nam. Don’t leave your bike in direct sunlight, unless you’re a masochist.

Whether it's a 5k Kem Tràng Tiền or a luxury 50k gelato, ice cream does help. Conversely, hot soups might sound counterintuitive, but they can help your body adjust to the external heat, making them an unexpected ally in temperature regulation.

So, as you blast the AC until your room turns arctic, then dial it down to just a fan to dodge those multi-million-dong electricity bills, remember: this too shall pass. Try to recall how you longed for this heat during the cold spells. Embrace the varied seasons, find the beauty in a thunderstorm, and savour the conversations that only happen when you're stuck inside together.

Here’s to surviving—and maybe even enjoying—a Hà Nội summer. 

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