Tuesday, April 7 2020


Teed Off (Nov 1, 2015)

Update: November, 01/2015 - 01:15

with Robert Bicknell

Ah, just in time for Halloween... A guy on Reddit posted what he claimed to be his worst golfing experience ever.

Naturally, I simply HAD to read it because there are just so many horrible experiences out there that to make a claim such as that is questionable.

In a nutshell, he was playing golf at Hansen Dam golf course, which is a Los Angeles Muni (city owned) club and, after putting on the 9th hole (which happens to be next to the parking lot and driveway) he noticed that his golf car was gone. Poof. Stolen.

Unfortunately, in addition to losing his clubs, the thief also got his range finder, wallets, keys, glasses and cell phones.

Because they got the wallets, the thief also knew his address, so he had to recode his key fobs for his car, change the locks on his home and office, and shut down his credit card.

Worse, they already went to his house and took everything they could from his car which was only his wife's shopping bags. The thief couldn't steal the car because the guy wisely blocked it into the driveway with another car.

Now while this sounds like a good candidate for worst golf experience, I think he might have some competition from a golfer in South Carolina who lost part of an arm while trying to retrieve his ball from a pond. Instead an alligator retrieved part of him. No, this is not the horror story seen in many fake emails running loose on the internet with ghastly pictures, but the real deal.

Hey, how about hitting your shot to the green and finding a 12-foot alligator sunning himself? The course is Myakka Pines Golf Club in Englewood, Florida and the gator lives there too.

Alligators and Crocodiles are nothing new to players in Florida, The Carolinas or even here in Asia. Granted, we also have to deal with Cobras and other snakes which are easily avoided because the caddies will see them long before you do.

Just listen for the screams and run the opposite direction and you'll be fine.

There is a famous internet pic of three golfers running after a grizzly bear pops out of the forest on them. It's titled: "Grizzly encounter on the 9th green, Yellowstone Club, Big Sky, Montana."

According to Snopes.com, this is a true event. Having grown up in New Hampshire, I have also seen bears on golf courses. Normally, they pose no real danger and are just curious. Nevertheless, do not hang around, do not try to feed one and take my word for it - your wedge is no match for his claws.

We joke that "Anything that doesn't kill you only makes your stronger." Except bears. Bears will kill you.

Oh, and if you see a cute little baby bear, run like the devil himself is lighting your ass on fire because momma bear is around there somewhere and she has absolutely no sense of humor.

An Ohio man has won what his attorney believes is a landmark legal settlement after an alligator ripped off his arm at a South Carolina golf course.

Jim Wiencek was playing the 11th hole at Ocean Creek Golf Club at Fripp Island in 2009 when he reached down to pick up a golf ball beside a small lagoon. A large alligator "exploded" out of the water and grabbed the 80-year-old golf lover's right arm, eventually ripping it off as he fought to get away.

He sued the course and won.

Now before you get excited and run off to the nearest gator infested golf course looking for a fast and painful payday, understand that ruling by the court was an aberration. Normally courses are not responsible for attacks by wild animals. The difference was the court found the club didn't do enough to mitigate the alligator threat and that the course and the homeowners association inadvertently encouraged the alligator by creating a favourable environment.

In short, the gator hung around because there was a lot of food to eat. There were some warning signs around, but none on the course and so they didn't take the action they might have taken.

So, claiming a stolen wallet classifies as the worst golf experience ever?

Sorry pal, you're not even in the ballpark. — VNS

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