Wednesday, September 18 2019


Teed Off (Oct 12, 2014)

Update: October, 12/2014 - 19:57

with Robert Bicknell

Hyperbole, over-analyzing, knee-jerk reactions and, when their carefully laid plan goes awry, they run around pointing fingers before appointing a "blue-ribbon" panel or commission to figure out what went wrong. In this case, it's a "task force" because golf is war, right?

As I said last time, the US doesn't simply fix a problem, they declare war on it. The War on Drugs, The War on Poverty, The War on Terrorism, The War on School Lunches, The War on Homelessness.

They don't actually DO anything about it, they just declare war on it and consider the problem fixed. When that doesn't work, they put their collective heads together (which sounds like a bowling alley on a Friday night) and declare the formation of a committee to study the problem.

And, of course, after that, they'll declare war on it, go to lunch and forget about it until the next time it arises.

Yes, I'm American, so I can get away with saying this. If a European, Asian or Space Alien said it, they would flip out, assign a committee to decide to declare war on it via "political correctness".

You've heard of "political correctness", it's a state of mind where anything that could possibly offend someone is unofficially forbidden and the person doing it keel-hauled before the court of public opinion. A short person isn't short… he's "vertically challenged". If you say anything against anything, you're insensitive. And, if you say anything against Political Correctness, you're probably a barbarian who needs to be horse whipped and dragged naked over a field of broken glass. Obviously, the PC bunch is pardoned for their lack of PCness. See how it works?

Such is the state of affairs in the US right now, so it's easy to understand why they simply cannot admit that the better team won. There HAS to be a logical reason because blaming someone, such as the players or the coach simply isn't politically correct.

Now then, as most of you know, I am so far from being politically correct that I can never go back home again. Therefore, let me give you my opinion on the entire thing… warts and all.

The US got beat for a few simple reasons:

1. They didn't play as well as the Europeans.

2. Tom Watson's pairings were off.

3. Mickelson should not have been benched.

4. Tom Watson used old school mentality on his players, without understanding that they are politically correct and their feelings were hurt by his harsh words. Thus, they might have to go through six months of therapy to deal with it.

Yes, in an age when a school and the team coach gets hit with a gigantic lawsuit from an outraged parent because their son didn't make the football team because he sucked at football (and will have to go through years of therapy to deal with it), it's not unreasonable to assume that Team USA is looking for any plausible reason for the loss which doesn't offend someone.

We live in frightening times my friends. A wall isn't necessarily blue, because that might offend someone who is colour blind (and to show you how far this nonsense has gone, I actually wrote "black" instead of "blue", but changed it because I just KNOW there is someone out there waiting to find something to be offended about if I said "black" even though it is a perfect example, a stark contrast to white).

If the US wants to win the Ryder Cup, the most important thing is to find some excellent players who LIKE playing together. Who practice together occasionally. Who play match-play events from time to time for the fun of it. And they need a coach who knows what he is doing and gets along well with the players.

No committee meetings, no blue-ribbon panels, no deep thinking. This is NOT a war, this is a golf match between two groups who see each other all the time anyway. Why make it more than it is? Stop declaring war and make it more fun.

Lighten up people, it's only golf. World peace doesn't depend on it. Bombs will not fall because of it. It's a golf match between allies. Win or lose, have a beer afterwards and a good laugh.

The more seriously we take ourselves, the more ridiculous we become. — VNS

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