Tuesday, October 25 2016


Teed Off (Jan 17, 2016)

Update: January, 17/2016 - 00:33

with Robert Bicknell

In the space of a few months, it seems that the entire golf world has resigned itself to the fact that Tiger Woods probably isn't ever going to come back - except maybe on the Senior Tour.

In fact, the only time he makes the news now is when he was seen giving chipping lessons to Michelle Wie. Ah yes, I can see it now… "And to skull it across the green and into the gallery, do it like this…"

Yes, I know it's a low blow, but what the heck. Besides, Wie couldn't do it anyway. (BOOM! A two-fer!)

Actually, when thinking about it, Wie and Tiger Woods would be the ultimate golf power couple. They both have huge name recognition, they both made huge piles of cash before ever swinging a club professionally and they both have problems.

A match made in heaven. Tiger has screws holding him together and Wie has coloured tape.

Yes, I am really nasty today. I don't know why. I'm on holiday and enjoying being with my daughter every day. My blood pressure is lower and I am hitting the gym again. I should be in a delightful mood.

Oh wait, I forgot. With me this is as good as it gets. And no, I am not "teed off" at anything, I am just back to what passes for normal with me. When I AM teed off, people know it. Heck, the world knows it. I am not shy.

OK, back to the topic at hand… Woods and Wie. Ah, another coincidence. They wouldn't have to change the monogram on the towels.

Seriously, Woods has had some very bad luck with the ladies he's had. Not their fault to be sure, but still something keeps going wrong there, so maybe Tiger should do what most of us expats here in Viet Nam (and Thailand, Singapore, Japan, China, etc) have done… marry an Asian lady!

C'mon Tiger, give it a shot (and try not to skull it). Sorry couldn't resist. I am especially snarky today.

They are both professional golfers - one better than the other - sorry Tiger (BOOM again). They could take golf holidays together. Open a school together. Play his and her competitions…

And their kids would probably be fantastic athletes. This has all the makings, as I said, of a great power couple.

They should consider it.

Ah, Jordan Spieth… the kid keeps getting better and better and richer.

Reports today claim Spieth signed one of the biggest endorsement deals in the history of Coca Cola, and he already has very lucrative deals with other sponsors as well. If he keeps this up one of the records he will be able to chase is not Nicklaus' majors, but Tiger Woods earnings.

OK, maybe not. Tiger does seem one of a kind and his lifetime earnings are staggering, but for earnings in one year, Spieth has him beat:

Tiger total: $48,551,098

Spieth total: $53,030,465

So, it's safe to say that the future of golf remains secure with players like Spieth, Rory McIlroy, Jason Day, Henrik Stenson, Ricky Fowler, and Bubba Watson (who is colourful enough to be a superstar for a very long time. If John Daly and Craig Stadler had a kid, it'd be Watson…in a hover buggy).

For those too young to remember Stadler (not his kid, Kevin, who is also on the PGA Tour), his nickname was the Walrus due to his physical build and his moustache. He was also one of the funniest guys out there. Do yourself a favour and Google him.

Tiger can take his time and do whatever he wants now. He earned his place in history and if he feels well enough to try a comeback (which is a mistake as far as I am concerned) it can try it. I think he'd be better off raising money for charities and his foundation, to be honest. If he wants to try the Senior tour, go for it.

As far as relationships go, maybe Wie's lifetime earning (including endorsements) is only a drop in the bucket at $12 million (it can pay for the petrol for Woods' jet), but still she isn't coming to the table empty handed and everyone loves a 180-cm girl who can play golf and drive the ball 300 yards...

Think about it Tiger. — VNS

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