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VietNamNews

Teed Off (Aug 23, 2015)

Update: August, 23/2015 - 00:14

with Robert Bicknell

There are times when I really question my sanity.

Ever agree to do something when every fibre in your body is screaming to not accept to do it? You know without a shadow of a doubt that the odds of it ending in disaster are almost 100 per cent, but your still do it anyway?

Bingo.

I won't go into details for the sake of propriety, but let's just say that I should have left it alone and remained where I was and what I was doing. Sure, not a huge amount of money, but I was happy.

I must hate myself or have a death wish.

This same thought creeped into my head before I accepted playing in the Thu Duc Garden Homes tournament a few months ago - despite having degenerative arthritis in both feet. Hey, when you cannot balance or shift weight, you cannot swing a club. I knew the pros had to walk, and I knew there would be so much pain that I would be lucky to finish the event, yet I did it anyway because I love the course, am friends with the organizer, sponsor and host club management.

Yeah, it was a disaster and I still cannot play golf to this day. My body simply cannot take the strain. Worse, my insurance company said they will pay for the surgery, but not with the doctor I want who they deem to expensive. So I hobble about like a 2,000 year old man. Unbelievable.

It all comes back to the age old saying that "no good deed goes unpunished".

Now I'm in a situation that would be exactly as I predicted it would be, yet I willingly stuck my head into the lion's mouth, yet again.

Brain damage. Its gotta be brain damage. No other excuse.

Speaking of brain damage or, "hoisting oneself up by their own petard" (which is essentially what I did myself), Tiger Woods is trying yet again to find his swing, his game and probably his plane as more and more airports fill up with PGA Tour pros who own their own planes now.

Arnold Palmer started it when he bought his first Aero Commander 500 back in 1951. He recently piloted his last flight in his Cessna Citation X twinjet he bought in 2002.

It seems now everyone on Tour buys a plane right after winning a tournament. Sheesh.

Tiger hoist himself on his own petard when he decided to tinker with his golf swing again and again. You would think that he'd be smart enough to leave well enough alone, but he didn't and now he's searching for Par in all the wrong places.

Rory McIlroy doesn't tinker much with his swing, but he does seem to hoist himself up on his own petard when it comes to women and football/rugby.

Mickelson did it on the ski slope. Fast turn, stumble, crash. Hoisted.

Now the pundits are claiming to worry that Jordan Spieth will follow suit by "searching for that elusive distance demon" and change his swing to hit it as far as Dustin Johnson.

Somehow, I don't think Jordan Spieth is stupid enough, or insecure enough, to hoist himself up. He knows what kind of game he has and would probably "stay with the girl he brought to the dance". Pity Tiger didn't figure out that rule. He might still be "Tiger" today.

Nah, he still would have farted around with his swing. If he didn't hoist himself up because of women, it would have been something else. Some people are just determined to get hoisted.

Jason Day, on the other hand, had been hoisted many times, but figured out how to avoid it and he won his first Major tournament. He's known to be a really nice guy and everyone on Tour is happy for him, believe it or not.

The Austalians are poised to be the next big thing on Tour, so times they are a changing. I just wonder how many will buy their own planes in the future. Even flying business class from Oz to the USA is uncomfortable, so maybe a nice luxury Gulfstream will fit the bill.

Just make sure it doesn't come with a portable hoist in the lavatory. — VNS

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