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The best-laid plans of mice and men oft go astray

Update: March, 12/2013 - 09:55

Ha Noi People's Court last week sentenced the director of a pest extermination company to three years' imprisonment for stealing from a fast food restaurant.

Pham Minh Hien, 39, of Tay Ho District, was hired to catch and remove mice from the restaurant, given access to all areas in the building and told to use any tools he felt necessary.

When searching for the pesky rodents, Hien instead came across a safe.

At 9pm on August12, he arrived at the restaurant as usual to do his job. The place was so crowded that nobody noticed his movements. He found a quiet hiding spot at 11 pm and stayed there until the staff closed all the doors and left the building.

He then expertly used his ‘mouse killing' tools to break open the safe and stole over VND64 million. However, his escape plan failed when he realised that he could not get away without being noticed on the busy street below. Reluctantly, he slept at the restaurant.

When the staff found him in the morning, he claimed that he was there early collecting mouse traps.

Unfortunately for him, being a good mouse catcher is not akin to being a good liar and thief and police quickly detected his wrongdoing.

What goes in must come out

Some people think that drinking continuously for a period of time without going to the bathroom proves that the drinker has a strong kidney and a mighty sexual capacity. Because of this assumption, they make bets about who can drink most without going to the loo.

A 29-year-old in the southern province of Kien Giang told Nguoi lao dong (Labourer) newspaper that he was the winner of such a bet. However, he admitted that afterwards he suffered from a terrible belly ache which even pain relieving medicine could not stop. Then blood appeared in his urine. He was hospitalised at Binh Dan Hospital in HCM City, and there doctors found that his urinary bladder had ruptured.

Doctor Mai Ba Tien Dung, who treated the man, said the patient was suffering from shock, infection and blood loss. If the condition had been detected any later, the consequences could have been serious and maybe even fatal.

Dung noted that in reality needing to go to the toilet regularly when drinking proves that their kidney works well, and there is no relation at all with sexual ability.

Doctors say that drinking too much beer and wines can increase the concentration of alcohol in the blood, deactivating the part of the brain that warns the body about the need to urinate. Normally, when the bladder contains about 250-350ml urine it slackens and people want to go to relieve themselves. If the bladder contains over 500 ml, it can break and cause serious problems.

Paunchy traffic police removed from public view

Potbellied traffic police will no longer work on the streets after Ha Noi Police introduced measures to improve the image of officers in the eyes of the public.

Colonel Dao Vinh Thang, head of the city's Traffic Police Department, said that traffic officers who were too short, small or fat will be transferred to work in offices instead of directly working with traffic participants.

Hot-tempered police or those who are reported being rude to people will also be relegated to paper work.

However, some people still have questioned the criteria being used, especially the connection some are making between body shape and demeanour.

It is reasonable to say that underweight or overweight traffic officers may not be healthy enough to do their job, for example chasing speeding drivers.

However, to say that the force would be friendlier without them seems strange. Is there evidence to show that fat people are unfriendly? On the contrary, Santa Clause is rather jolly isn't he?

Meanwhile, in Nepal police have had to keep their weight at a reasonable level since 2010. Those who fail fitness tests and are overweighed or slow will not be promoted and will be stuck with a low salary.

Since last year, Indonesian police weighing over 100kilos have been forced to attend weight loss sessions. — VNS


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